In the beginning, my goals were simple. My sister's wedding was coming up and I wanted to lose a bit of weight (so that I wouldn't look like quite such a whale in my bridesmaid's dress, especially standing next to my size 0 Olympic athlete cousin) and just generally improve my health a little bit, so I could, you know, climb a flight of stairs without wheezing and things like that. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so I signed up for a gym membership and got me one of them there personal trainers.
That was three years ago. I lost 30 pounds for the wedding (go me) and got in better shape, then slacked off again and gained most of the weight back. So I eventually decided that the trainer was worth every penny and signed up for some more sessions, this time with the more general goals of a) lose weight and b) improve body. Pretty straightforward, no? Except without a specific event to work towards, the motivation is sometimes lost, and I was pretty half hearted about my gym time -- I would go in when I had a session scheduled with the trainer, but chances of me making it in on my own were slim (non-existent, most of the time).
The trainer I had been working with for most of the last three years recently moved on from the gym where I am a member, so I had to find a new trainer to work with. I'm not good with change in general, and this was a particularly scary change for me as this is an area where I am not brimming with confidence, and my previous trainer and I had a really good rapport and had developed a close relationship over the years. However, life goes on, and the Queen of the Jungle entered my life. And in doing so, she forced me to rexamine some of my goals, and refocus on my commitment to my health and weight loss. She pushed me to commit to two sessions a week with her, instead of the one per week I had with the previous trainer, and while I am feeling the financial pinch of that decision, I am also already starting to see the positive effects of the added workout.
I'm also starting to see that my goals are changing. Although I'll never be a hardbodied gym rat, I am more and more willing, and anxious, to take on physical challenges, to push myself beyond where I thought my body could go. I participated in the Run for the Cure last October, which is a 5k run (although I walked most of it, due to having sprained my ankle in a freak bus mishap two days before) and the #1 response I got from people (while incredibly supportive) was "this is so unlike you!" And I said "yeah, that's kind of the point." This year I want to do the Terry Fox Run, which is 10k. I've spent the last three years looking for ways to get out of my comfort zone, not just physically but in all areas of my life. This is just one more challenge.
All that to say, the Queen of the Jungle kicked my ass this morning. Ow.